The best way to find The Vic is to drive into Derby and follow the signs for the railway station. Its as simple as that The Vic is opposite the train station, allways has been, allways will be. Any way, if that was not simple heres a map.........

(PLEASE CLICK ON THE MAP TO OPEN IN A PRINTABLE WINDOW......)

DOSSERS GUIDE TO THE VICTORIA INN , DERBY .

When asked by the landlord of this very establishment you are reading about
to write a few words to describe the venue and sum up my experiences within
the place , I found the request most daunting . Why? Well , this is mainly
due to the fact that for 99% of the time I have been to the 'Victoria Inn' ,
I have ended up in a state that can only be described as 'Pissed as a
newt!' A newt who's day job is a wine taster , with the emphasis on 'taste'!
The missing 1% was the time I turned up one New Years Eve to find the place
closed.

For me , a visit to the 'Vic' as it is affectionately known is a Jekyl &
Hyde sort of affair. The 'Jekyl' side of me walks in a sober , clean & tidy
individual , I then 'Hyde' when it is deemed my round !

As a music venue the place sucks big cock! Unless you are a long serving
regular , and you know which vantage points to take when the gig area is
full of bodies. How I love to see male 'Vic Virgins' negotiate their way ,
with full pint in hand , through the throng of flesh that creates the mosh
pit in front of the stage , to get to the Gents toilets. ( These are
situated at back of the stage) If that punter has a quarter of his pint
left by the time he's got through to the bogs , then he's done a good job,
which is more than you can do in the Gents! ( A good job(bie) )

The urinals are fine , but the cubicle floor has always had this obligatory
cover of one inch of water / beer / piss on it for all the years I've been
going , making a number two , a wet experience. Toilet paper . Ha forget it
. You want toilet paper you go to Public House Gay Boy ! You use a broken
jagged edged plastic pint pot like the rest of us ! I trust this answers a
frequently asked question as to "Why you ain't got no carpet in the gig
room?" Yes , some people should get a fucking life !!!

Many great bands have played during my years as a punter / free loading
blagging bastard ( Your choice ) . There's been many bands that 'grate' as
well. To me , the bar staff have always been very chatty. I've never worked
out if this is coz they have always been really friendly or coz they want to
distract you and rip you off with your change !! ( Joke !! )

The regulars are strange as they are polite. This brings me to the landlord.
My first meeting with the proprietor , ( Long word but stick with me ) , Mr
Andrew Sewell , I made one simple request . " Hello mate , I'm from
Leicester and I've run out of money . Any chance you could give me a slate
?" The response was enough to make the current poet laureate blush. "Fuck
off you Leicester wanker!" From that moment on I fell in love with the place
, 5 years on from setting foot in the place and that's still the kind of
slate(ing) I have become accustomed to !

The Vic has more characters than Walt Disney. From the bouncers to the gig
soundman , to that odd bloke who sits in the corner on a stool with a
rucksack , who never speaks to anyone and only drinks half a bitter . Who is
that man ?

So , if you have just stumbled across our web-site then get your arse down
to a gig one night , and stumble around with the rest of the drunkards .
Every hour is happy hour , Christ! I'd sell my own Gran for a free pint ....

The Queen Vic ( Eastenders ) - Shove it up yer arse ! You won't hear the
phrases "They're family!" or "Let's have a nice cuppa tea" in this place.
There's only one 'Vic' - And it's the best alternative music venue in the
country , don't take my word , come and see for yourself.

I'll finish with my fave story of recent time. Local band ' The Serg' were
to play a gig. This band contain players & relations of Derby County
Football Club. On the guest list was the teams star midfielder (?) , Georgi
Kincladzie ( Nickname Kinky ). The bouncers bless them , both hate football.
Mr Kincladzie approached the two burly figures on the door and said " High ,
I'm kinky can I come in?" I'll leave the rest to your imagination !!

See you at the bar , drink 'til you drop !

LAZZA OGDEN - PINT OF SMITHS / SMIRNOFF ICE

PS Please ignore spelling and punctuation .... i have .